Daddy's birthday gift

Photo by Tavia Redburn--she's amazing!

We tried for 14 months to get pregnant after we had V. My periods were very irregular and I probably took at least one pregnancy test each month. It was hard. In November 2008, the day before Thanksgiving, I woke up feeling nauseous. My first thought what that I might be pregnant! I was ecstatic to be sick if that's what it meant! I was in the bathroom, when H walked in and said V was throwing up. I thought "crap. I'm not pregnant" V and I had food poisoning and it was pretty bad. Made not overeating on Thanksgiving pretty easy though!

Well, little did I know, that I was in fact pregnant. Our little one was conceived on H's birthday.

In December, I went out for my monthly girls night and I said to the girls that I was either pregnant or I needed to lose some weight because my pants weren't fitting. The next morning I took a test and low and behold there were two lines. I didn't believe it! I was pregnant!

This pregnancy was very similar and very different all at once. I never got sick and the only real sign of pregnancy (other than my ever expanding belly of course) was that in the first trimester food in general was disgusting to me. If I cooked something there was no way I was eating it. I lost a few pounds in the first few months, but I quickly gained those plus plenty more back.

When I found out I was pregnant I was so happy, but I also knew I was in for a lot of work. I had decided I was not having another c-section and throughout the past 19 months, I had done a lot of research on birth and c-sections and VBAC. I was educated this time and I was in control. I interviewed midwives and decided I was taking charge this time. I was not going to put my faith in someone else and I was calling the shots.

I chose a midwife and I TOLD her what I was doing. I was having an un-medicated VBAC. I was going to continue to nurse my son. I was not having an IV. I was not going to be stuck in a bed during labor. I was going to come to the hospital only to push my baby out. It was going to be my way.

She was very understanding and I loved the difference in a midwife and an OB. She seemed to really care about me, not just my belly. It was fabulous!

I loved being pregnant and I felt so blessed to be able to go through the journey towards VBAC with a very dear friend of mine who was VBA2C four months before I was due.

I talked H into taking REAL childbirth classes and we signed up for Bradley classes. I loved them and felt energized and ready for labor at the end of each class. I was looking forward to contractions. I was looking forward to labor. I was looking forward to pushing a baby out of my vagina. I was ready.


Here is the birth story I wrote a few days after M was born:

At 4:15 am on Tuesday, I woke up to go to the bathroom. I got back in bed and laid down for a bit and then felt something warm between my legs. I looked at
the clock at it was 4:33am.

Funny side-note about this is that the first Tuesday of the month (which it was) is girls night. A group of friends and I get together the first Tuesday of each month. We've been doing it for a long time and it is our tradition. Well, 4 months prior (also the first Tuesday of the month) one of my girls went into labor. Her water broke at 4:30am and her son was born at 10:40pm that same night. She had him naturally after 2 c-sections and she was and is a HUGE inspiration for me. The night before my water broke she said something about how funny it would be if my water broke the next day. We laughed about it and she jokingly said she would be thinking of me at 4:30!

So, back to 4:33am and the warm feeling. I went back into the bathroom and the shorts I was wearing were quite wet and I had some bloody show. I also had some cramps that I thought were constipation, so I just went to lay back down and see what was going to happen. Well, I laid in bed for about 30 seconds when I realized there was no way I was going back to bed. I was too excited! So I went to lay in the living room. H asked what was going on and I told him that I was having some cramps and my water might have broken so I was going to go lay in the living room. After about 30 minutes I started trying to time the cramps (which at this point I realize are in fact contractions) and I can't do it. I go back into the bedroom and H and I time them together. We laugh and talk between them and even during some of them because they are not too bad. At 6am, I decide to call the doulas (T and A) and see what they think. While I am on the phone with T, I really have to breathe through contractions. She says it sounds like labor and she will call A and they will be on their way after they get breakfast and whatnot. Contractions get harder and stronger pretty quick, but they are still manageable. I was doing laundry and folding diapers and would just get on all fours during a contraction, and have H put his hand on my back. At 8:30am V woke up and T and A arrived shortly after. V was eating breakfast and we all stood in the kitchen talking and laughing and I would just get on all fours during contractions. Around 9am my mom came to pick up V and at this point
contractions were painful enough that I really had to breathe and think myself through them. The support I got from H, T, and A was amazing! It was really stressful for me to hear V crying (he was scared because I was on all fours moaning) and I just really wanted him and my mom to go. They left around 10am (the carseat in my mom's car was not installed right and H couldn't get it right so he was trying to install our extra carseat in her car while T was with me. I remember telling her that I needed H, but I didn't want her to leave to get him. Then I would tell her to get him, but stay here. I am fairly sure this was transition for me. After they got the carseat installed and my mom and V were gone, contractions got hard and strong. T and A said it was probably time to go and I just didn't want to get up and walk. I also remember asking T if she was sure this was labor! They said we could either get in the car and leave or call an ambulance. T and I got in the backseat of H's car and A followed us in her car. I rode to the hospital, on my knees facing the back of the car screaming at H's driving the whole time while also screaming that I needed to push. I wanted nothing more than to push. We finally pulled up to the hospital and someone got me a wheelchair (which I had said I didn't want prior to labor, but wanted so much once we got there!) I am sure I was a sight to see because I also sat on my knees, facing the back of the weelchair and had H push the wheelchair backwards
so I could go forwards. I should also add that I was wearing one of H's shirts, an adult diaper, and a pair of H's boxers. H later told me that the shirt was tucked into the diaper so I am sure that just added to the amusement!

We got on the elevator to go to the 4th floor and then they realized it only goes to 3. FABULOUS! The whole time I am screaming that I need to push and everyone is telling me not to. The poor physical plant worker who was in the elevator with us is scarred for life I am sure. He tried hard to help though and got us into the right elevator and up to the right floor. But then no one knew where to go, so they were just pushing me and pretty much screaming for help.

This is when we passed the resident eating a candy bar in her office. She rushed us over to triage (I am fairly sure she thought I was just a crazy laboring woman dilated to a 2 and thinking it was bad). We got into the triage room and they made A and T wait outside. The resident told me to get on the bed so she could check me and I just told her I really wanted to push. She told me not to push because I might not be dilated yet and she needed to check me and I needed to get on the bed. I told her no because it hurt so much and she could check me where I was (I was leaning over the bed with my feet still on the floor). She said fine and started to check and it hurt so badly I screamed (T later told me she heard me scream in the hall) so I got on the bed and she checked and said I was a 10 and then said that there was a tiny lip of cervix still left so I shouldn't push. The urge to push was nearly unbearable and all I wanted to do was to push my baby out! They wheeled me on the bed into a delivery room (which we later learned was a high risk room because there were no regular rooms available). I was on the bed on all fours with my lower half nude, so
lady-like. At this point, the resident asked me what drug I wanted for pain management! I told her nothing.

Anyway, on the way to the delivery room, I kept asking if L was on her way and the man said that if we didn't bring L with us she wasn't coming (I don't think he knew L was the midwife and A called on the way to the hospital to let her know we were coming). So we get into the delivery room and someone tells me to get on the other bed. I said I really didn't want to since I was in the middle of a contraction. She was quite rude, but when the contraction was over, I scooted over onto the other bed. Then someone said they were going to start my IV and I told them I didn't want an IV. I was told it was hospital policy and I said I didn't care, I didn't want it (although I didn't say it that nicely). They then said they wanted to do a Hep-Loc and I said no to that too. That really made them mad, but I just didn't care. L later told me that she got yelled at twice because I refused the IV and the Hep-Loc (my birth plan stated that I would have a Hep-Loc, but in the moment I just didn't want one). I also heard a nurse call that we needed Pitocin (why, I don't know, routine I thought, and L later agreed). A nurse kept trying to get the baby’s heartbeat on a monitor and I just kept pushing her hand away. It was really irritating to me to have her touching my stomach. There were so many people in the room that I finally just yelled that everyone needed to leave and surprisingly everyone but L and one nurse left (the 3 people I brought stayed though, which is what I wanted).

At some point they told me that they could not differentiate my heartbeat and the baby's because mine was high and baby's was low so they wanted to do an internal fetal monitor. I said no and L said that I really needed to get the baby out because they couldn't make sure baby was okay. She said if I didn't start pushing more effectively, I would still be pregnant in an hour. At this point I thought they were sending me in for a c-section and I got a burst of pushing energy. I not so nicely, told her to think positively. I kept switching positions, squatting, standing, and laying on my side and baby's head was just not coming down. I could feel the head come down and after a push, suck back up. It was so frustrating.

Finally, I got back on all fours and leaned on H (he said I was choking him) and pushed and pushed and pushed until I felt baby's head crowning. At this point I feel the nurse drop the monitor off my belly and I hear her yelling for L (apparently she had left the room to get yelled at by the doctors for my lack of IV). L rushed in as I was pushing the baby's head (and the hand that she had by her face) out and at 11:47am our 7 lb 15 oz, 19.25 in long beautiful baby girl was born (She even pooped on my hand as I was pulling her out). I called that it was a girl, but then had to look again to make sure since the cord was covering her genitals. She was in fact a girl, and once the cord stopped pulsing, H cut it and we were able to cuddle our sweet baby. It was an amazing experience. She didn't get suctioned or taken away or anything and we just got to hold the baby we had been waiting so long for. I had only a tiny little “flap” of a tear that
didn’t even need a stitch.

Having a med-free vaginal birth after a scheduled c-section was such an incredible difference. I felt amazing and even mentioned that I would do it again within an hour of her birth. M was alert and active and responsive and I felt like I could do anything! It was amazing! About 2 hours after she was born, L asked when we had planned on leaving and H said as soon as we could. She said we could leave then, but I really didn't want to have to cook dinner that night so we stayed overnight.

When we were leaving the hospital, I was being wheeled out and I was talking to the lady wheeling me and I said something about how they need bigger signs on the elevators that don't go to the 4th and 5th floors. Then she said "You're the one! You came in labor yesterday and almost pushed your baby out in the elevator with my friend! Was it a hand or a foot hanging out?" I told her that was me, but nothing was
hanging out. That's just how rumors get started...

I remember commenting to H after M was born that I was looking forward to a year without doctors. We got about a month. When M was 4 weeks old, she stopped breathing. She had done it a few times before, but never long enough that it really alarmed me. This time was different. I was holding her and she just stopped breathing. I know CPR, but I just started at my baby for about 30 seconds until she started breathing again. I was in shock. Our pediatrician (this is the old one still) wanted me to put her on meds and a monitor that would monitor her heart and lungs. I agreed to the monitor. After a few weeks of toting around this big and all its cords AND having to have my child plugged in all the time, I decided enough was enough and we switched pediatricians. The new pediatrician said that what happened to M is very common and we took her off the monitor. She has been fine ever since.

Now she is a healthy, happy baby and I never knew I could love someone else as much as I love V. Her smile seriously lights up the room. I would have waited forever for her.