Sunday, March 27, 2011
the unexpected gift homebirth gave my family
I knew my daughter and I would get a lot of a having a homebirth, but I didn't expect it to be such a gift to my husband. First, I want to say that he loves all 3 of our children. He would do anything in the world for any of them and he doesn't love any one more than the others. He is bonded with each and an amazing daddy to them all. But, he bonded with G immediately after she was born. Like instantly. It took time for him to really bond with the "big kids", but with G it seems like it was instantaneous. He held her while she was still attached to me and he didn't even get to hold the other kids until they were already wiped off and wrapped in a blanket with a hat on. He was really a huge part of G's birth and I think that helped him to bond with her. I really worried about him bonding with her because she was our unexpected blessing. I worried that he wouldn't have the same feelings towards her that he did the other kids. I worried for nothing. The man is head over heels for his littlest girl and I think she just *might* have him wrapped around her finger. With the big kids, he slept on the couch, but he sleeps in bed with G and me. That is a real gift to me too because I don't feel like I am choosing my child over my husband. I think having a homebirth made adjusting to 3 kids to much easier. We haven't fought like we did after the big kids were born and we sort of just found our new normal. This has been so much easier than either of us thought! I am so thankful for our homebirth experience for so many reasons, but this one was a fabulous surprise!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Saint Patrick's Day Daughter
G’s birth story really starts many years before I found out I was pregnant with her. When I was pregnant with V, I remember talking to a lady I worked with who had a niece who was pregnant and was planning a homebirth. I remember thinking she was crazy. Fast forward 4 years, 1 c/s and 1 hospital VBAC later and I found myself planning a homebirth!
Since we found out we were expecting our third baby by surprise and my cycles are pretty irregular when I’m nursing I was never really sure of my “due date.” I figured it was probably between March 13, 2011 and March 21, 2011 so when I told H, he said he thought we would have a St. Patrick’s Day baby. Since I went into labor with M at 39 weeks 1 day, I figured I would go “early” with this baby too and told H there was no way I would still be pregnant on St. Patrick’s Day. Little did I know Daddy knew from the start…
I started having contractions at the end of February. Every night the contractions would start shortly after the kids went to bed and they would continue until 2-4 am and then stop. This went on for a few weeks and I started thinking that I might never go into labor. I was exhausted from all the sleepless nights filled with contractions and baby was putting a lot of pressure in really uncomfortable places. I was ready to have my baby in my arms.
Thursday, March 17th, some girlfriends and I took the kids to a Bug Fest and then to the park for lunch and to play. There was another obviously pregnant woman at the park and she asked me when I was due. I told her “now” and asked about her. She said she was 38 weeks, but “scheduled for next week.” I bit my tongue and told her congrats. As she was walking out, I told my girlfriends that she looked so much better than me and it was probably because she knew she wouldn’t be pregnant anymore after next week. I found myself a little jealous. After the park I took the kids to Target to get a few things before heading home for dinner.
After we put the kids to bed, H left to go back to work as he has been for weeks, just in case the baby came soon so he would be able to stay home with us for a couple of weeks. At 8:15 my mom called and we talked for about 5 minutes. At the end of our conversation, I had a pretty strong contraction that I didn’t think much of because I had been contracting for so long. It felt a little different though and I had some bloody show, so I called H and told him I might need him to come home at some point, but not yet. I then called my VBAC buddy from M’s birth), and during our conversation I had to stop and really focus through contractions. She told me she thought I was in labor and I told her I wasn’t sure yet. She said I sounded the same as I did with M and I should call h and the midwives. I told her I wanted to wait until contractions were steady for an hour. Then V came in the room during a contraction and when it didn’t stop, I knew it was real so called H and told him to start heading home and I called the midwives and told them that I didn’t need them yet, but I wanted them to have a heads up. That was 8:30. After I hung up the phone, I hung my VBAC butterfly over the knob on my dresser where I could see it when I was on my hands and knees. Then I started feeling by body pushing. I started getting a little scared and a few minutes later, H walked in. He wanted to take a shower and I told him to hurry because I needed to push. He called the midwives and told them to come. I labored on my hands and knees on the floor by the foot of my bed. My body was pushing and I kept fighting it. The midwives came in at some point and I told them I was scared to push (looking back I think I was scared because it was so fast).
Pushing hurt. I have never really had any pain during labor or pushing before but this time it HURT! I kept changing positions, but always seemed to end up on my hands and knees. Finally, the urge to push was so powerful I just had to work with it and I pushed. I pushed hard and we heard a pop. My water broke and one of the midwives said “there is some meconium.” That made me a little nervous, but there wasn’t much we could do at that point. I pushed again and felt a burning that I have never felt before. Finally, I felt the baby’s head come out, but I didn’t feel the relief I felt after Meredith’s head came out. I pushed some more and A said the baby had a hand across her face. She saw her elbow tear me, but I pushed through it and had my baby in my arms!
I said “I did it! I did it! I can’t believe I did it! I have my baby!” A asked what kind of baby I had and I looked and told her we had a girl! She was born at 10:37pm, just 2 hours and 17 minutes after my first contration that night!
She didn’t cry or breathe right away which didn’t worry me terribly since she was still attached to me by her cord. A suctioned her and we turned her over on her belly and rubbed her back and she started to cry. We cuddled her a bit and then I tried to push out the placenta. I couldn’t get it right so I cut the cord (yes, I cut my baby’s cord!) and stood up to push out the placenta. It came right out and I hopped in the shower real quick to wash the meconium (she pooped on the way out and I was pretty much sitting in it) and blood off. Then I climbed into my bed and got to cuddle and nurse my sweet girl.
After a few minutes, the midwifes wanted to check my tear and said it looked like I was cut my a scalpel it was so straight. They asked if I wanted stitches or not and after some discussion, I decided I did. Well, the gave me one numbing shot and that was the end of that. I decided laying flat on my back with my legs closed for 3 days was way better than 3 more shots!
H went to check on V and he was awake so he brought him in to meet his sister, but he really didn’t care. He just kept saying he was so tired, so he went back to bed.
We talked about names for a bit, but couldn’t pick the right one and then the midwives weighed and measured our daughter. 8 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long!
They made sure we were all settled and cleaned up everything and left us for the night to bond with our baby. It was fabulous!
When our daughter was about 17 hours old, we finally settled on a name for her. Gwyneth Cecilia. She is beautiful and perfect and we can’t imagine life without her in it!
Now, for my VBAC friends especially, I want to add that even though G’s birth was fast, it was so intense I don’t know that I would want to do it again. This recovery has also been a lot harder than after M’s birth. I am really sore and tired, but it is still a breeze compared to my recovery after the c-section with V.
I am so glad that we had our baby at home. It was amazing and intimate and empowering and if we were to have anymore babies, I would most definitely do it at home!
Since we found out we were expecting our third baby by surprise and my cycles are pretty irregular when I’m nursing I was never really sure of my “due date.” I figured it was probably between March 13, 2011 and March 21, 2011 so when I told H, he said he thought we would have a St. Patrick’s Day baby. Since I went into labor with M at 39 weeks 1 day, I figured I would go “early” with this baby too and told H there was no way I would still be pregnant on St. Patrick’s Day. Little did I know Daddy knew from the start…
I started having contractions at the end of February. Every night the contractions would start shortly after the kids went to bed and they would continue until 2-4 am and then stop. This went on for a few weeks and I started thinking that I might never go into labor. I was exhausted from all the sleepless nights filled with contractions and baby was putting a lot of pressure in really uncomfortable places. I was ready to have my baby in my arms.
Thursday, March 17th, some girlfriends and I took the kids to a Bug Fest and then to the park for lunch and to play. There was another obviously pregnant woman at the park and she asked me when I was due. I told her “now” and asked about her. She said she was 38 weeks, but “scheduled for next week.” I bit my tongue and told her congrats. As she was walking out, I told my girlfriends that she looked so much better than me and it was probably because she knew she wouldn’t be pregnant anymore after next week. I found myself a little jealous. After the park I took the kids to Target to get a few things before heading home for dinner.
After we put the kids to bed, H left to go back to work as he has been for weeks, just in case the baby came soon so he would be able to stay home with us for a couple of weeks. At 8:15 my mom called and we talked for about 5 minutes. At the end of our conversation, I had a pretty strong contraction that I didn’t think much of because I had been contracting for so long. It felt a little different though and I had some bloody show, so I called H and told him I might need him to come home at some point, but not yet. I then called my VBAC buddy from M’s birth), and during our conversation I had to stop and really focus through contractions. She told me she thought I was in labor and I told her I wasn’t sure yet. She said I sounded the same as I did with M and I should call h and the midwives. I told her I wanted to wait until contractions were steady for an hour. Then V came in the room during a contraction and when it didn’t stop, I knew it was real so called H and told him to start heading home and I called the midwives and told them that I didn’t need them yet, but I wanted them to have a heads up. That was 8:30. After I hung up the phone, I hung my VBAC butterfly over the knob on my dresser where I could see it when I was on my hands and knees. Then I started feeling by body pushing. I started getting a little scared and a few minutes later, H walked in. He wanted to take a shower and I told him to hurry because I needed to push. He called the midwives and told them to come. I labored on my hands and knees on the floor by the foot of my bed. My body was pushing and I kept fighting it. The midwives came in at some point and I told them I was scared to push (looking back I think I was scared because it was so fast).
Pushing hurt. I have never really had any pain during labor or pushing before but this time it HURT! I kept changing positions, but always seemed to end up on my hands and knees. Finally, the urge to push was so powerful I just had to work with it and I pushed. I pushed hard and we heard a pop. My water broke and one of the midwives said “there is some meconium.” That made me a little nervous, but there wasn’t much we could do at that point. I pushed again and felt a burning that I have never felt before. Finally, I felt the baby’s head come out, but I didn’t feel the relief I felt after Meredith’s head came out. I pushed some more and A said the baby had a hand across her face. She saw her elbow tear me, but I pushed through it and had my baby in my arms!
I said “I did it! I did it! I can’t believe I did it! I have my baby!” A asked what kind of baby I had and I looked and told her we had a girl! She was born at 10:37pm, just 2 hours and 17 minutes after my first contration that night!
She didn’t cry or breathe right away which didn’t worry me terribly since she was still attached to me by her cord. A suctioned her and we turned her over on her belly and rubbed her back and she started to cry. We cuddled her a bit and then I tried to push out the placenta. I couldn’t get it right so I cut the cord (yes, I cut my baby’s cord!) and stood up to push out the placenta. It came right out and I hopped in the shower real quick to wash the meconium (she pooped on the way out and I was pretty much sitting in it) and blood off. Then I climbed into my bed and got to cuddle and nurse my sweet girl.
After a few minutes, the midwifes wanted to check my tear and said it looked like I was cut my a scalpel it was so straight. They asked if I wanted stitches or not and after some discussion, I decided I did. Well, the gave me one numbing shot and that was the end of that. I decided laying flat on my back with my legs closed for 3 days was way better than 3 more shots!
H went to check on V and he was awake so he brought him in to meet his sister, but he really didn’t care. He just kept saying he was so tired, so he went back to bed.
We talked about names for a bit, but couldn’t pick the right one and then the midwives weighed and measured our daughter. 8 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long!
They made sure we were all settled and cleaned up everything and left us for the night to bond with our baby. It was fabulous!
When our daughter was about 17 hours old, we finally settled on a name for her. Gwyneth Cecilia. She is beautiful and perfect and we can’t imagine life without her in it!
Now, for my VBAC friends especially, I want to add that even though G’s birth was fast, it was so intense I don’t know that I would want to do it again. This recovery has also been a lot harder than after M’s birth. I am really sore and tired, but it is still a breeze compared to my recovery after the c-section with V.
I am so glad that we had our baby at home. It was amazing and intimate and empowering and if we were to have anymore babies, I would most definitely do it at home!
Friday, March 11, 2011
just gotta get it all out
I have never been this far along in a pregnancy before and I have never felt so ready to have a baby. With V and M, I never really got to the point where I was nearly begging to have the baby. I am there. I have been there for a few weeks and I gotta say it is not fun.
I am so uncomfortable and everything hurts. I am exhausted from nights and nights and nights of contractions. Every night for the last week or so, contractions have started around 7pm and come every 10 minutes or so until I finally go to sleep. They continue through the night until somewhere between 2 and 4am. So basically that means I don't get a good night of sleep and then I take care of 2 kids all day (and have random contractions throughout the day) and do it all over again the next night.
All of that leaves me so ready to have this baby. I want to meet him or her. I want to hold my baby in my arms. I want to feel my baby on the outside. I want to be patient and wait for my baby to come when he or she is ready. I want an easy, gentle birth for my baby. I want so much and I must wait for all of it.
Last night, V asked me when I was going to push the baby out. I told him when the baby was ready and he asked when the baby would be ready. I told him whenever it was ready and he said he just wanted to hug that baby. So sweet. He also asked if I would push it out then and I told him I wish! He said "are you doin' it, mama?" I told him not yet and that it takes a long time. He then told me that I have already been pregnant for a long time. Thanks, kid.
I am starting to think that I will not even know when I am in labor since I have been having these contractions for so long. I think I will only really believe it to be so if/when my water breaks or I feel the urge to push! We shall see when our little one decides it is the right time to come earthside. Only time will tell, as they say!
I am so uncomfortable and everything hurts. I am exhausted from nights and nights and nights of contractions. Every night for the last week or so, contractions have started around 7pm and come every 10 minutes or so until I finally go to sleep. They continue through the night until somewhere between 2 and 4am. So basically that means I don't get a good night of sleep and then I take care of 2 kids all day (and have random contractions throughout the day) and do it all over again the next night.
All of that leaves me so ready to have this baby. I want to meet him or her. I want to hold my baby in my arms. I want to feel my baby on the outside. I want to be patient and wait for my baby to come when he or she is ready. I want an easy, gentle birth for my baby. I want so much and I must wait for all of it.
Last night, V asked me when I was going to push the baby out. I told him when the baby was ready and he asked when the baby would be ready. I told him whenever it was ready and he said he just wanted to hug that baby. So sweet. He also asked if I would push it out then and I told him I wish! He said "are you doin' it, mama?" I told him not yet and that it takes a long time. He then told me that I have already been pregnant for a long time. Thanks, kid.
I am starting to think that I will not even know when I am in labor since I have been having these contractions for so long. I think I will only really believe it to be so if/when my water breaks or I feel the urge to push! We shall see when our little one decides it is the right time to come earthside. Only time will tell, as they say!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I think this is it! SIKE!
When I was in 2nd grade I can remember riding the bus to school. I always sat with a particular friend and her 6th grade brother always played jokes on us telling us things and then a few minutes later saying "SIKE!"
I feel like this baby (or just the labor maybe) is that 6th grade boy.
I have been having tons of prodromal labor. Totally timeable contractions that seemingly get me absolutely nowhere (I know that they are getting my body ready and getting baby ready, but I just dont' feel it). Very frustrating.
Last night I really thought I was in labor. I mean really really. I had been having random contractions all day while we were out running errands and such. Then as I was feeding the kids dinner they started to get harder and we rushed to get the kids in bed (we had planned a little at home dinner date after the kids went to bed so we weren't eating with them). I couldn't even finish putting the kids to bed because the contractions were so hard and so close together. I went and laid down while H finished their bedtime routine and I started timing contractions. They were getting stronger, but farther apart. Weird. We ordered in dinner like we had planned and ate dinner. I had contractions all through dinner and then I went to lay down to try to sleep while H went to work on the house some more.
After maybe 30 minutes of laying in bed the contractions were getting really hard so I went and asked H to take a shower and come lay with me. He did and we decided that we should try to sleep for when things really got going.
He quickly fell asleep and I laid in bed contracting. That was around 10 or 11pm and I woke up around 1am to pee. I got went and when I got back in bed I knew I couldn't sleep through the contractions. I kept telling myself "if the next one is harder I will wake up H" and then the next one would be harder and I thought, "well, I got through that one okay, but if the next is harder I will wake him up" I kept telling myself that over and over and then found myself sleeping in between contractions until I finally woke up around 4am and realized I wasn't contracting anymore.
Today I have been having contractions off and on and some I have to stop what I am doing and some I do not. I am just feeling so ready to meet my baby and this is all just so different to me than it was with M. I feel lost.
Also, I have been really feeling like baby is a girl and she would be born the first week in March for a long time. Then the other night (Wednesday maybe) I woke up to contractions and as I was laying in bed timing them, I had this really strong feeling that baby is a boy and won't be here for a while. Very odd. I didn't tell anyone that and that morning V told me that the baby in my belly is a brother. The whole time he has been saying it is a sister. Totally weird. The next day he was back to saying sister again though. So now I really don't know!
Yesterday though, while I was installing the carseat in the car, V asked when I was going to push the baby out. I told him when the baby was ready. He told me to ask the baby when it would be ready and was asking if it was dark in my belly. I told him it was probably pretty dark so he said he thinks the baby wanted to come out that day. They say kids have a sense about these things, but my kids must be a little off! Either that, or maybe they are right on and baby thought it wanted to come yesterday and then had a change of heart.
Either way, I am excited to meet this new little person, but we will wait until he/she is ready. I just hope for a little bit of rest at least before labor hits!
I feel like this baby (or just the labor maybe) is that 6th grade boy.
I have been having tons of prodromal labor. Totally timeable contractions that seemingly get me absolutely nowhere (I know that they are getting my body ready and getting baby ready, but I just dont' feel it). Very frustrating.
Last night I really thought I was in labor. I mean really really. I had been having random contractions all day while we were out running errands and such. Then as I was feeding the kids dinner they started to get harder and we rushed to get the kids in bed (we had planned a little at home dinner date after the kids went to bed so we weren't eating with them). I couldn't even finish putting the kids to bed because the contractions were so hard and so close together. I went and laid down while H finished their bedtime routine and I started timing contractions. They were getting stronger, but farther apart. Weird. We ordered in dinner like we had planned and ate dinner. I had contractions all through dinner and then I went to lay down to try to sleep while H went to work on the house some more.
After maybe 30 minutes of laying in bed the contractions were getting really hard so I went and asked H to take a shower and come lay with me. He did and we decided that we should try to sleep for when things really got going.
He quickly fell asleep and I laid in bed contracting. That was around 10 or 11pm and I woke up around 1am to pee. I got went and when I got back in bed I knew I couldn't sleep through the contractions. I kept telling myself "if the next one is harder I will wake up H" and then the next one would be harder and I thought, "well, I got through that one okay, but if the next is harder I will wake him up" I kept telling myself that over and over and then found myself sleeping in between contractions until I finally woke up around 4am and realized I wasn't contracting anymore.
Today I have been having contractions off and on and some I have to stop what I am doing and some I do not. I am just feeling so ready to meet my baby and this is all just so different to me than it was with M. I feel lost.
Also, I have been really feeling like baby is a girl and she would be born the first week in March for a long time. Then the other night (Wednesday maybe) I woke up to contractions and as I was laying in bed timing them, I had this really strong feeling that baby is a boy and won't be here for a while. Very odd. I didn't tell anyone that and that morning V told me that the baby in my belly is a brother. The whole time he has been saying it is a sister. Totally weird. The next day he was back to saying sister again though. So now I really don't know!
Yesterday though, while I was installing the carseat in the car, V asked when I was going to push the baby out. I told him when the baby was ready. He told me to ask the baby when it would be ready and was asking if it was dark in my belly. I told him it was probably pretty dark so he said he thinks the baby wanted to come out that day. They say kids have a sense about these things, but my kids must be a little off! Either that, or maybe they are right on and baby thought it wanted to come yesterday and then had a change of heart.
Either way, I am excited to meet this new little person, but we will wait until he/she is ready. I just hope for a little bit of rest at least before labor hits!
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