just gotta get it all out

I have never been this far along in a pregnancy before and I have never felt so ready to have a baby. With V and M, I never really got to the point where I was nearly begging to have the baby. I am there. I have been there for a few weeks and I gotta say it is not fun.

I am so uncomfortable and everything hurts. I am exhausted from nights and nights and nights of contractions. Every night for the last week or so, contractions have started around 7pm and come every 10 minutes or so until I finally go to sleep. They continue through the night until somewhere between 2 and 4am. So basically that means I don't get a good night of sleep and then I take care of 2 kids all day (and have random contractions throughout the day) and do it all over again the next night.

All of that leaves me so ready to have this baby. I want to meet him or her. I want to hold my baby in my arms. I want to feel my baby on the outside. I want to be patient and wait for my baby to come when he or she is ready. I want an easy, gentle birth for my baby. I want so much and I must wait for all of it.

Last night, V asked me when I was going to push the baby out. I told him when the baby was ready and he asked when the baby would be ready. I told him whenever it was ready and he said he just wanted to hug that baby. So sweet. He also asked if I would push it out then and I told him I wish! He said "are you doin' it, mama?" I told him not yet and that it takes a long time. He then told me that I have already been pregnant for a long time. Thanks, kid.

I am starting to think that I will not even know when I am in labor since I have been having these contractions for so long. I think I will only really believe it to be so if/when my water breaks or I feel the urge to push! We shall see when our little one decides it is the right time to come earthside. Only time will tell, as they say!