Tonight I went to see a girlfriend who had just had a baby. She has a daughter just a bit younger than V and they love to play together so we get together often. We have talked a lot about birth and such because, well first, its me and I love to talk birth, but second, she was really disappointed in her first birth experience. She was induced and said it was just really traumatic for her. She was the first person I actually talked to who had her baby vaginally and still had a traumatic experience. So, we talked about what she wanted to do differently this time. She decided she didn't want to be induced and she didn't want an epidural. Well, she went into labor on her own (three days after her "EDD") and pushed out her 9lb 7oz baby sans epidural. She is amazing!
But the thing is she said it was terrible. She said it was horrible and painful and she wouldn't do it without drugs again. It really made me scared. I mean I know that her baby was a pound a 1/2 bigger than mine and I don't think I would have a baby that big since my other 2 were smaller, but I started to think, what if I was just lucky the first time?
My first labor didn't hurt. Really, it didn't, but what if the second one does? What if I can't handle it? What if it is really long and scary and what I just can't hack it. It scares me.
We talked tonight (while I got to hold her precious bundle) about why some labors are so painful and some are not and the only conclusion we could really come to is what we compare it to.
I compared labor to a c/s. Labor hurt nothing like c/s recovery for me. She compared labor without meds to labor with an epidural. Still, though, now I have labor to compare it to and I am scared I won't have a short labor, or that I will because shorter labors are generally more intense.
Basically I just need to get these feelings out. I know in the end, drugs are not an option for me so I will have to deal with what I am handed. I just hope I can handle it.
If anyone can do a drug free birth you can! No matter what kind of birth you are presented with, I think you have the knowledge and resources to get through it!
ReplyDeleteI had that craptastic induction as well so I'm determined to go into labor naturally and avoid pitocin like the plague!!
ReplyDeleteFrom everything I read and learned fear=pain. The more you are afraid the more tense you will be. While I'm not expecting laboring to be pain free, I am the person in control with dealing with it and relaxing (mind over matter). So Jenn remember that you can do it and God made our bodies for birthing babies and like you said, it you know drugs aren't an option you just have to suck it up and deal (crazy thing is at my hospital they won't give you an epi until 4 cm and then not after 7 cms...very small window!)
thanks Lisa!
ReplyDeleteCati, I think you hit the nail on the head. With M's labor I was not scared at all. I was so excited to get to experience labor. I looked forward to contractions. I felt blessed to be able to experience all of that.
I still feel that way this time, I think because I know what it is like not to get those things. I just need to remember that more :)
My girlfriend who I saw last night said they never offered her an epi (she told them not to) but when she got to a 7 or 8 she asked for one. We both think though that that was just transition talking. She also said, which might make you feel better, that pit contrax at a 4 were worse than anything she had this time. :)
If you're going to make me do it... you have to do it too! lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming you're talking about "E"? Yay!