I frequently feel torn between being a "good mom" and a "good wife." I feel like since I stay at home, I should keep the house clean, the laundry done, and a hot dinner on the table at 5pm, but when I do those things, I feel like it is at the sacrifice of my kids.
Today, I woke up at 6 am, made H lunch, and started to clean and organize the house. I payed bills and got the kitchen picked up before the kids even woke up and since V wasn't feeling great he camped on the couch this morning while M was napping and I went to work. I got stuff in our bedroom put away (we had just stored everything in there once we got carpet and got our living room put back together), I got the office organized, I put the photos from the last 3 years in a photo album (and I need to get another album because there are photos left and nowhere for them to go), I mopped the kitchen, and I folded some laundry. Once M woke up, I fed the kids lunch and put them down for afternoon naps. V said he wasn't tired (he was) so I told him he could lay on my bed and watch me fold laundry. Well, either Mama was right or really boring because he fell right asleep. Once I got the laundry all put away, I started on dinner. I made 2 lasagnas (I love to eat lasagna, but hate to make it because it is so time consuming to I froze one).
Our house is clean, the laundry is all done, and dinner was on the table when H got home from work, but I feel like I neglected the kids all day. I mean they were fed and changed, but emotionally, I feel like I let them down.
It is a daily struggle for me. I feel like if the house is a mess, I was a good mom, but if it is clean I wasn't. Sometimes I can get them involved in cleaning and picking up and make it a learning experience, but usually they get bored with me and go play together somewhere else.
Tomorrow we are going out so I know it will be more fun for them, and I know in the long run, their lives won't be forever altered because I spent one day cleaning the house, but I can't help but think that when they are 30, I would so much rather them remember having fun playing with Mama is a so-so clean house, than remember playing alone while Mama mopped the floors.
Don't be so hard on yourself! You know what your kids are going to remember? How much you love their dad (and them) to provide a clean, warm home with dinner on the table every night. They are going to remember all the fun days they spent playing with you and each other and all the fun trips you took together during their childhood.
ReplyDeleteI'm hard on myself like you are sometimes, which can be a good thing cause it keeps us in check, but you're a great mom AND wife. :-D
I struggle with this too. I think, for some reason, that the house should be in order at all times and the laundry shouldn't be more than one load in the hamper. I think we both need to take a deep breath, realize that our husbands will be happy if our kids and their wife are happy, and move on! Besides...I'd love to spend one less day mopping/dusting/sweeping/folding. :)
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