2 months--the things I miss

I can't believe he has been gone for 2 months. It seems like just yesterday that I was in his arms and forever ago at the same time. I obviously miss everything about him, but I wanted to write a few things I miss specifically.

*I miss how he would hold me on the couch when we watched a movie. He frequently told me he should be doing XYZWhatever, but would rather be there with me

*I miss how he would smack my ass when he walked through the kitchen

*I miss laying in bed on Saturday mornings arguing over who had to get out of bed when M woke up

*I miss the whole family laying in our bed on Sunday mornings

*I miss getting his phone calls in the middle of the day, especially when he was just calling to say hi or to see how my day was going

*I miss cooking for him. I have never been a good cook or enjoyed cooking, but I miss it

*I miss having someone to entertain the kids while I clean the kitchen after dinner

*I miss watching him rough house with the kids before bed

*I miss how our feet would touch at night

*I miss his sense of humor. He was always cracking jokes and making me laugh

Really, I just miss him. His spirit, his essence.

Tonight, after the girls were in bed, V and I were laying on his bed talking. He asked why Daddy got broken. I told him I don't know. He asked if the guy who hit Daddy was a mama or a Daddy. I told him he was a Daddy. He asked if the other guy got broken too. I told him no and he asked why his Daddy got broken then. These are not questions a 4 year old should have to ponder. These are not the things we should be talking about before he goes to bed. Yesterday, we were talking about wishes and he said if he had one wish it would be to have his daddy come home. That should not be something a 4 year old should wish for. He should be wishing for a train or a truck or a ice cream for dinner. Not for his daddy.

I hope though that V doesn't forget his spirit. I want my kids to know how awesome their dad is. It's only been 2 months and I fear they are forgetting. He is so missed.