him

I like to talk about him. A lot. I think about him all the time. Everything brings my mind back to him. Literally, everything. I found this poem tonight and it pretty well sums up how I feel. I miss him, but talking about him doesn't make it any harder.

Say his name .

The time of concern is over.
No longer am I asked how I am doing.
Never is the name of my partner mentioned to me.

A curtain descends.
The moment has passed.
A life slips from frequent recall.
There are exceptions ...
close and comforting friends, sensitive and loving family.

For most, the drama is over.
The spotlight is off.
Applause is silent.

But for me, the play will never end.
The effects on me are timeless.

Say his name to me.
On the stage of my life,
he has been both lead
and supporting actor.

Do not tiptoe around the greatest event of my life.
Love does not die.
His name is written on my life.
The sound of his voice replays within my mind.

You feel he is dead.
I feel he is of the dead and still lives.
You say he was my partner,
I say he is.

Say his name to me
and say his name again.
It hurts to bury his memory in silence.
What he was in flesh
has now turned to ash.
What he is in spirit,
stirs within me always.

He is of my past, but he is part of my present.
He is my hope for the future.

You say not to remind me.
How little you understand I cannot forget.
I would not if I could.

I forgive you,
because you cannot know.

I strive to not judge you,
for yesterday I was like you.
I do not ask you to walk this road.
The ascent is steep
and the burden heavy.

I walk it not by choice.
I would rather walk it with him in the flesh
.
I am what I have to be.
What I have lost you cannot feel.
What I have gained you cannot see.

Say his name,
for he is alive in me.
He and I will meet again,
though in many ways we have never parted.

He and his life play light songs on my mind,
sunrises and sunsets on my dreams.
He is real and he is shadow.
He was and he is.
He is my partner and I love him as I always did.

Say his name to me
and say his name again.