Wednesday, October 5, 2011

100 days

Today marks 100 days since S died.  100 days.  Wow.  Triple digits.  I can remember in elementary school having a 100 day party on the 100th day of school.  Such a thing to celebrate!  I felt like I should mark this day somehow, but couldn't figure out how, so I didn't do anything special.  100 days.

I did look at his helmet for the first time today.  His helmet and saddle bags have been sitting in a box in my garage for about 3 months.  My brother went to get them from the tow lot and he took pictures of the bike for me too.  I looked at the pictures a while ago and I was shocked at how little damage was done to the bike.  It really didn't look bad.  There was a dent in the gas tank and one of the mirrors was broken.  That was about it.  He took the brunt of it.

They told me his saddle bags look new (and they do) and his helmet didn't look bad either, but I haven't been ready to look at it until today.  It has a small paint mark on the chin area and that is about it.  I wonder if his head hit the guys car there.  I really examined the helmet.  I looked at every inch, inside and out.  I can see where the paramedics cut the chin strap to get the helmet off his head.  I smelled the inside.  I wanted to see if it smelled like him.  It doesn't.

I am sort of mad at the helmet.  It didn't do its job.  I paid for it to protect his head if he got into an accident and it failed miserably.  It hardly took a beating at all.  It gave it all to him.

101 days ago that piece of plastic and padding was on S's head as he rode his bike through the intersection.  He put it on that day, so that in the unlikely event of an accident, he would live to tell the story.  His story will never be told.

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