can't catch a break

A few months ago, my mom was watching all three kids while I went to counseling.  When I came back to pick the kids up, G's whole face was red and splotchy.  My mom said it looked a lot better than it had earlier and she wasn't sure what it was from.  She said the rash started while she was feeding the big kids breakfast.  She had served them french toast and gave G the spatula to play with.  I thought it was weird, and just stored it in my mama memory bank.

A few weeks later, I was making the kids eggs and when V was finished eating, he gave G his fork to play with.  A few minutes later, she had a rash all over her face.  I thought that maybe she had a little egg allergy.

A few weeks after that, I was eating french toast, and she touched it on my plate.  It never touched her face and I wiped her hand off right away.  She broke out in a rash again.  I thought it surely had something to do with the eggs.

She also won't eat food.  She nurses, but she flat out refuses to eat solids.  She is 9 months old and she won't eat.  I did some research and found that kids with food allergies frequently won't eat until they are older because they instinctively know that some food can hurt them so they avoid all food.  I started to wonder if G had an egg allergy.

So, at her 9 month check-up last week, I brought it up to her pediatrician.  We decided to do a blood allergy test (which was absolutely terrible) and the doctor called yesterday to tell me that G is allergic to eggs and it is severe enough that she wants her to have an Epi-Pen just in case.

So, I picked it up yesterday and I will spend the next few weeks voiding my house of things with egg in them.

I am sort of scared for G.  In the little research I have done, egg allergies are commonly outgrown, so that is hopeful because egg is in so much stuff!  All of my easy go-to meals have egg (eggs, pancakes, pasta, bread).  So many kid friendly foods have egg.  And in our little playgroup, the kids always just sort of share snacks, and she won't be able to do that.

I'm also really scared of what could happen if she consumes egg.  She breaks out in a rash from touching something that touched egg and it scares me that it could be really serious if she actually touches egg or gets some in her mouth.  I know that I have the Epi-Pen now so I feel better, but it is still so scary.

It also makes me a little mad that I have to deal with all of this on my own.  S is not here to talk about this stuff with.  It is frustrating.

I am just worried about my baby.  I just want life to be easy for my kids.  I think things are hard enough for them and I am mad that things are making it harder.  I just want normalcy.